May 2013
76 posts
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mermaidsandmisandry:
things i dont need in my life:
wasps
those stringy things on the banana
commercials on youtube
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mintsmintsmints:
captorihardlyknowher:
count-vulvula:
thedivingboard:
russia coming 15 minutes late to the 1917 revolution holding a tsarbucks
15 minutes late they clearly weren’t
russian
looks like they were
stalin
you guys are putin way too much time into this
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“Travel is little beds and cramped bathrooms. It’s old television sets and slow...”
– Nick Miller (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
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vagisodium:
i bet my tongue is stronger than yours wanna find out
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nevvzealand:
thinking about my homework is probably as far as im gonna get with it
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haithinkimfunny:
queenestelle:
gothist:
GET IGNORED SO MUCH BITCHES CALL ME TERMS AND CONDITIONS
at least you get accepted no matter what
that’s the most uplifting thing i’ve seen all day
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Plot Twist: All exams get cancelled because the government finally realise that they are actually just marking your memory and not your intelligence and teenagers should be experiencing life and having a good time instead of sit revising bullshit they're never going to need.
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kierstiel:
221becquerel:
zchr:
what if you woke up with amnesia and all you could remember was your tumblr password and you had to discover who you were based off your posts
“wow I sure had a thing for boats”
#’wait am i a gay man’
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moderndayryan:
malijuanastyles:
I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all
unless you’re a guy
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jackingtonoff:
if sugar we’re going down doesn’t still get u amped every time u hear it then u ain’t no friend of mine
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eatsleepbreathejosh:
fluffywhitechicken:
filthytricksyhobbitses:
guys
perfume
that smells like books
if you wear this I’ll probably fall in love with you
omfg my english teacher was telling us how he bought this for his wife!!!
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assiest:
sex-doesnt-alarm-me:
assiest:
i am 41 cheetos tall
Why did you think you needed to measure yourself in Cheetos?
we were out of doritos
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trillow:
“i need to get something off my chest” yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
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In my English classroom there is poster and on it is written awsome. AWSOME. AWSOME.do you see what is wrong here?
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thecompanionsdoctor:
My week is basically:
Monday
Monday #2
Monday #3
Monday #4
Friday
Saturday
Pre-Monday
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bye-chemical-romance:
mishaonmywaywardlesbian:
ladydireadsalot:
myt0xicvalentine:
I hate watching shows once a week, I’m more of a season a day kind of person.
A season a day keeps your friends away
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wild-lion:
have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane
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daisyfairy:
boxofpoptarts:
tin-pan-ali:
awhisper-acapella:
daisyfairy:
i’d like to see a version of romeo and juliet about a person that works at burger king and a person who work at mcdonalds that fall in love
“Deny thy corporation and refuse thy name badge.”
“A McRib by any other name would smell as sweet.”
“Do you bite your spatula at us, sir?”
I POSTED THIS WHEN I WAS STONED...
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justinibiebers:
stuff you ask your mom:
mom where’s my towel
mom what do we eat for dinner
mom what’s time is it
mom where’s my phone
mom when do you come back
mom whats day is it
stuff you ask your dad
dad where is mom
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simplydalektable:
niqqaniall:
i’m 16 and i still walk up the stairs with my hands how do they expect me to learn algebra
I thought you meant only on your hands and I was like, hell that’s way harder than algebra
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Reader: Dear Mr. Snicket, What is the best way to keep a secret?
Lemony Snicket: Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.
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